Home Sweet Home
by ChemicallyEnhanced
Summary: Ritsu moves out. Masamune breaks.


Disclaimer: I don't own Sekaiichi Hatsukoi because this would _never_ happen.

* * *

 _This is for the best._

Ritsu continues repeating this to himself as he methodically places his belongings in different cardboard boxes. The moving men would be here in an hour or so; right now, he needs to focus on getting everything packed so the transfer would be as smooth and quick as possible. Against his own volition, he finds his eyes drifting to the wall separating his apartment from—

 _No. It doesn't matter anyways._ Jerking his attention back to the boxes, his hands shake slightly as he piles another book on top, the heavy comfortable thump a sudden weight on his mind. Why can't he do this? He should; he has to. There's really no other option. He'd already talked to his parents about this. There is absolutely no way he can back out now.

But.

Suddenly tired, Ritsu collapses on top of his couch, rubbing his sore eyes against the heels of his palms. It is too early in the morning for this line of thinking. He deliberately woke up at an ungodly hour of the morning just to do this. Just so he doesn't have to see _his_ face right before…right before— _stop. Stop it. It's over and done. Stop. You're only hurting yourself more by thinking about that._ B-besides, what would he care? They aren't even _together_ , so what does it matter? In fact, it would only bother him even more if he stayed. Yes, that's it. That's…right.

Looking around his mostly-empty apartment, Ritsu sighs and gives up for the meantime, resigning himself to a few more minutes of just quiet. Just a few minutes so he can gather himself again.

Masamune wakes up to a strange noise. It isn't even the sound of wheels clattering against the floors in the hallway, or the sound of other men talking in his neighbor's apartment. It is, inexplicably, the sound of his own blood rushing in his ears. No, that can't be right. He hadn't had a nightmare in so long; most of them faded away along with the memories he used to keep so close to him. Then why does he suddenly feel as if he can't hear; he is staring up at the ceiling, sightless and uncomprehending for a moment. Then—

"Ah!" There is the sound of a box dropping heavily to the ground, followed by more muffled voices and footsteps.

For a moment, Masamune wonders what is happening next door. He squints at his alarm clock. _5.33._ Christ, is it early. What is he doing up already? Letting out a sigh, he rolls over in bed and closes his eyes, ready to fall asleep again. It isn't until he is just about to fall asleep and he realizes _who_ his neighbor is that he lurches up in bed, confused. What is going on next door?

Yawning and shuffling his way towards the door and out into the hallway, much to his surprise, he finds strange men in blue clothes moving boxes back and forth from the apartment next door to the elevator. Is his neighbor…moving? What? _What?_ Irritated, Masamune pushes his way into the apartment and discovers Ritsu placing books into another cardboard box. He doesn't even notice him.

"Onodera," Masamune calls tiredly, still groggy from sleep and waking up so early.

Ritsu, bless his innocent soul, jumps up and almost shrieks, his hand clenching over his chest. "Uwaah?!" He seems…distracted. His eyes are focused on the book in front of him, but he isn't exactly _seeing_ it. He blinks and looks up—and jumps again. "T-takano-san!" Dropping the book, he tries for a smile, but he only succeeds in looking more nervous, like he is caught doing something.

Inwardly, Masamune feels a distant pang of hurt, like Ritsu never means for him to know he is _moving_ and _leaving…_ No, it isn't quite that yet. On the outside, though, he sighs exasperatedly and goes deeper inside the apartment to start packing things into other boxes. At least this way he doesn't have to say anything and give away the fact that he is nearly panicking for some reason he can't hope to explain.

Ritsu seems confused. "Takano-san? What are you doing?"

 _Making sure I don't fall apart, what does it look like?_ "Helping you pack. You have too much crap in your apartment."

"A-ah. I hope I didn't wake you up with all the noise." _You choose_ now _to be considerate, of all times?_

"No," Masamune answers. "You didn't. I had to wake up early anyways." _Liar. Why are you lying?_ "I'm doing something for you; the least you could do is help me clean up your own apartment." _Don't look up._

"You don't have to, you know," Ritsu says—or snaps. He should snap. That way Masamune will know how to reply. That's their _thing_. But no, Ritsu only sounds confused. _It's getting too cold in here._ It must be too early in the morning.

Masamune picks up an old book. It has wrinkles and the corners are slightly bent. It speaks of being well-read and well-used, of being loved. The title is _Queen's Circus_. His heart gives one sudden jolt and then is calm again. "You still have this old thing?" He waves it up for Ritsu to see.

He can hear the smile in the Ritsu's voice. "Oh, that. It's an old book, but I just can't bring myself to throw it away. Ah well." Ritsu lapses back into silence and work.

Chest tightening, Masamune feels he can't breathe for a second. Then it goes away. He forces it down to deal with another time. Continue working. Don't mention the elephant in the room. He can't. Taking a deep breath, he packs more of Ritsu's stuff into more cardboard boxes, shutting them away like he's shutting away his pain. He stands up. Dusts off his pants. He looks over at Ritsu and finds that he's looking right back at him.

Ritsu flushes and looks away. "W-well…you should go. I'm locking this place up." No _Thank you_ or _Sorry I forgot to tell you that I was_ moving or—Masamune has to clench his hands once to get air again.

"What about the rest of the stuff?" That isn't what he wants to say.

Shrugging, Ritsu leads him out the door and sifts through his keys. "Later. The lease isn't up for another three days. I have time."

Masamune nods, wanting to do something, _anything_ to make Ritsu understand how _hurt_ he is feeling right now, how he's panicking and doesn't know why and hoping that Ritsu understands. "Work, then?" Why isn't he trying harder? Normally, he would ask Ritsu _everything_ , to the point of annoyance, so _why is he standing there like he can't move?_

"Mm." Ritsu angles his head noncomittantly in parting and starts his way down the hallway to the elevator. Where is he going now? It's unhealthy, wanting to know where someone is every second of the day. Masamune can't breathe.

"Onodera." He has to do _something_ , otherwise it'll just feel like Ritsu is walking out of his life again.

Ritsu turns. "Takano-san?"

Just say it. Just ask. There's nothing to lose from it. "When did you decide to move?"

Ritsu scoffs and turns back around, punching the down button on the side of the elevator. "What does it matter? It's already happening, isn't it?"

No, that's not the answer he wants, not even close. A _date_ , he needs the exact time Ritsu decided that living next to him was more trouble than it was worth and he couldn't wait to— _breathe. Don't panic._ He finds himself moving forward before he can stop it; he latches onto Ritsu's hand and tugs at it. Like that would pull Ritsu right back into his circle.

Ritsu lowers his head. "Takano-san, let go. I have things to do." He looks to be struggling with something, but he doesn't pull away.

His voice comes out thinly, as thin as a wet sheet of paper. "Don't leave." His grip is slipping; he desperately grabs on again. "Don't leave again."

"Takano-san…" Ritsu glances back at him, eyes wide. "Let go of me."

" _No_." He won't. He can't. Not again, not now. Aren't they in love?

The elevator opens, and Ritsu takes his escape. He runs, and Masamune is too in shock to chase after him, too numb to move. He doesn't even look up again until after the elevator doors close and Ritsu is gone.

* * *

He can't focus at work; the object of his desperate affections is sitting right there, across the room, like nothing has happened. Everything is wrong. But Ritsu is still there, isn't he? Just…why is Masamune panicking so much about this? Ritsu is still there, he's still in front of him. It's not as if Ritsu's gone out of his life for good. Ritsu catches his eye and then quickly looks back to Kisa, continuing in his conversation and nodding. How is there time to do this?

The end of the Cycle…the Cycle-!

Masamune suddenly scrambles to get Ichinose-sensei's manuscript. He needs to focus; he can't slack off at work. It would ruin _Emerald_ 's reputation and _his_ reputation. He needs to work harder.

He wishes he can keep his eyes off of Ritsu while he's working.

* * *

It's not until he's sitting on the floor in front of his couch late at night, staring up at the ceiling and not thinking about much of anything, that he finally realizes why he was panicking. There's no noise, not a sound next door. No indication that there's any life in his not-neighbor's apartment. His chest feels empty like that. He compares it to the feeling a mother gets when her children move out. Not that he has any experience with being missed by his mother. It's…strange. Masamune expects Ritsu to come back to his apartment any time now, like he's always been there and will always be there. In his heart, he hopes so. In his mind, he knows that Ritsu has moved, somewhere else far away from him, for a reason that Masamune doesn't even know. Ritsu never told him anything.

Ritsu never tells him _anything_.

He laughs faintly, bitterly to himself. Is that what love is? If so, then they have a really fucked-up representative of it. But he can't help it. Even now, even after only seeing Ritsu a few hours ago, Masamune misses him. He misses his everlasting presence from next door, the certainty that Ritsu brings into his life. Dragging himself up onto the couch, he falls into a fitful sleep, dreaming of realities that are sweeter than this one.

* * *

A few weeks later, Masamune feels like he should be remembering something as he stands in front of Ritsu's apartment. He shrugs it off due to overwork and presses the doorbell a few times. If Ritsu is sleeping, then this should wake him right up. Masamune shifts the bag full of food next to him, the excuse he's using to see Ritsu again. He's seen Ritsu at work, of course, but it's been a while since Masamune visited him in his apartment.

He rings the doorbell again but doesn't get an answer.

"Oi, Onodera." He pounds on the door. "Open up."

There's only an eerie silence that echoes back to him. He stands there, confused for a moment, wondering if Ritsu is out doing something. He takes out his phone and brings up the number he wishes would call him more often.

The phone rings a few times. Then—"Takano-san? What do you want?"

"Open the door."

Ritsu makes an unintelligible noise, loud and high-pitched. When Masamune can finally understand him again, Ritsu asks, quickly, "H-how did you find my new address so quickly?!"

 _New…address…?_

His heart stops. _That_ was what he forgot. He doesn't hear anymore as Ritsu continues calling, "Hello? Takano-san?" in his ear. Ritsu hangs up after a few more seconds. Masamune can't breathe again. His head is swimming with thoughts that are grainy, that he can't understand. _He doesn't understand._ Even after all this time, Ritsu still hasn't told him why he moved. How long has it been already? A month or so?

Masamune doesn't even notice as he slips his phone into his pocket. He starts laughing, but it sounds slightly unhinged, like he hasn't quite got a hold on his self-control right now. He continues laughing to himself outside of not-Ritsu's empty apartment, in the empty hallway. Nobody is there right now, anyways. Nobody will care. He continues laughing until he finds himself in his apartment again, kneeling in the genkan and staring at his dirty shoes.

He feels like crying when he realizes that he left the food in the hallway.

* * *

A/N: Well, I actually wasn't sure which direction I was taking this. It's sad and a little disturbing and just…feels?

This is one of my favorites.

-ChemicallyEnhanced


End file.
